Just finished creating our new 2012 Christmas card. I know it's after midnight, but Shutterfly was having some technical difficulties today. Thank goodness they resolved them so I could use my coupon code for free cards! Only ordered a few, but that's more than the ZERO I ordered last year. We went to Azalea Park in Summerville this evening with Sister and some of her crew (we left before the arrival of her eldest child & his daughter). Wish we'd gone earlier to have a few more minutes of light. Might've had more smiling pics from which to choose. Personally, I feel the pic on the far right depicts us perfectly. Chris and I are keeping it together with big smiles (fake or sincere? you be the judge), Rea is completely apathetic and B is showing her frustration with a signature pout. I should have that blown up and put over the mantle for posterity. As soon as we got there, Rea took off without us. We kept calling her back over, but she would say "Nobody cares about me!" She spouts random crap like that all the time, so I wasn't phased. And then it became the phrase to say. Even Chris was saying it! We'd walk to a bench... where's Reagan? do you want to sit here? over there? well we're already sitting! "Nobody cares about me!!" someone would shout. Ah, family. I still think I'd like to try it again earlier in the day... with snacks.
When Reagan was born there were so many physical similarities between her and her sister that I felt like I was raising twins. Now... are they even related?! Reagan is a climber, an investigator - she has to touch everything and go everywhere. All drawers and cabinets must be opened and emptied. She will climb onto every table and into every bathtub (empty or full). She's a fearless explorer.
Isabella is not. She has a strong vernacular and perfect enunciation of most words. We spoke "baby talk" of course, but when she started repeating things, it was time to stop. She absorbs the English language like no other child I've ever seen. She's also strong in gymnastics and can be very spirited. Like most children her age, she's independent. Before she was three years old she could zip her jacket all by herself (I don't know why she needed a jacket when it was 100 degrees outside, but who am I to judge?). I don't think I could do that until first grade probably. I couldn't be more proud of her!
It's so hard to keep from comparing the girls. They're sisters so of course there will be comparisons. I wish Reagan was as strong a speaker as Bella was at her age. Bella was advanced in that respect... she still is. She says things and understands words and phrases like a child of six or seven. It still surprises me, even though it should be old hat. Am I labelling her so soon? Speaking and gymnastics are her strong suits, but I don't want to put her in a box just yet. Unfortunately, I think I am.
And what of Reagan? Her interests are all over the place and that's great! She's not even two! She likes tricycles and baby dolls and tumbling with her sister. She loves her Daddy and mentions him often when he's out of town for work. She likes swinging and hugging and snuggling in bed for storytime. She's a joy and she has a giggle that makes me smile when I think of it. So why do I worry about her speech? It's as if I worry because there's no box for her yet. She's not this way or that way, just HER way. She's healthy, happy and full of fun.
This has been somewhat helpful. I think I just talked myself into an obvious realization: they're different people and they're still very young, so I need to stop worrying and just enjoy them. I'd like to say "Done and done", but it'll be hard. I want to put Reagan in a box! In getting ready for her second birthday, I didn't even know what theme to use. What are her interests? What will she love? We decided on a princess theme, but I'm just settling. I know she'll have fun no matter what because I can already tell one thing about her - she loves life.
An article in Time Magazine online addresses the importance of breastmilk and milk-sharing.
Move Over, Milk Banks. Facebook Ramps Up Milk Sharing As the article states, milk-sharing is nothing new. Wet nurses have been around for ages, but with medicines and disease so prevalent in our time, there's a lot of fear around milk-sharing. Milk banks are so expensive because they have to screen and pasteurize the milk to avoid giving anything but perfect and pure milk to the babies. Unfortunately, that can also kill good bacteria and antibodies in the milk that help strengthen those baby immune systems. So it really is best to get it straight "from the tap" if you can. I would absolutely milk-share, but I don't make enough to pump anymore. I think if someone came to me in desperation, I would nurse their baby. Reagan still gets plenty of milk at almost 21 months old. Being a working/nursing mom is tough, but I would take on the responsibilities of nursing another child if someone needed me. It's hard for moms to ask for help, so if a mother comes to you and makes this request, this tells you several things: she is desperate, she trusts you, she is making a last-ditch effort before resorting to something bovine or soy. I support you Emma and Eats on Feets!
Since the birth of my first lovely child, I have been addicted to photobooks at http://www.shutterfly.com . I can't help it! They keep coming out with more design ideas and choices which makes each book more fun and unique. Well, last holiday season I decided it was (finally) time for us to send out a family Christmas card, so of course I went to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-photo-cards ! It was so easy... honestly, the hardest part is picking a design! And it's not just the Christmas cards that are so beautiful, they have a whole selection of "holiday" cards. So whether you want a card that spreads Christmas cheer or one that incorporates the holiday season, they have lots from which to choose: http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/holiday-cards .
And right now Shutterfly is offering 20% off all holiday cards http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery ! I know I'll be getting more this year. Last year we used the Elegant Damask Noir holiday card. It's a very chic and classic choice. I loved the way it turned out This year I want to try something different. I'm having trouble deciding between Sweet Stocking and Top Ten Moments. What I love most about them are the vibrant colors used as opposed to the typical red and green. They're so cheery! I love that Sweet Stocking has a child-like handmade quality and enough room for four photos (in case I have trouble choosing). Top Ten is fun because it allows you to make a list of things going on in your family over the past year... the "top ten" things! My mom always includes a letter with her Christmas cards... that's so old-school. This is the new, easy, concise way to write a letter. And really, with Facebook and Twitter, people know what we're up to all the time, but this card highlights what you consider to be the important events of the last twelve months.
Last year we took pictures Thanksgiving Day and I used those in our holiday card. I plan on making that a tradition since it worked so well. All of us wore colorful clothes and no one matched anyone else, but we still looked like a family. I guess that's good since we ARE a family! I recommend doing the same thing for your holiday pictures. I want friends and family to see us as we are, but better... not unrecognizable! So if you check out Shutterfly for the sale on the holiday cards, check out the photobooks while you're there. I can almost guarantee you'll become addicted!
Over a month since I posted last? Impossible! I've had so much to mention, but I guess it's all in my head. I don't have time to completely expunge all the thoughts and memories, but I'll share a little.
Christmas was lovely. We celebrated with the in-laws at their house on Christmas Eve and celebrated at our house Christmas morning with my parents and my sister's family. It went beautifully. We left for West Virginia the next day and it was a long drive with a potty-trained child. I'm so proud of Isabella for being a big girl and she had no trouble doin' the doo in the public restrooms. Proud moments. We borrowed my father-in-law's dvd player for her and she watched the same movies over and over. I don't want her using headphones yet because I think she's too little for that, but they would've been nice. I couldn't get the songs out of my head! Chris and I listened to the Sirius radio the whole way and it was so nice to not have to change the station because of a lost signal.
Isabella got her second snow experience, but she didn't remember her first and she probably won't remember this one either. Nevertheless, she LOVED it! She loved throwing snowballs and making tracks and getting all snowy. I wanted Reagan in the snow as little as possible, but on the last night we were there, it started snowing as we left a restaraunt after dinner. I was hurrying Reagan out to the car and when I looked at her, she was entranced. She was watching the snow fall and, as it lit on her little baby eyelashes, I too was entranced. It was a beautiful moment.
Reagan is finally crawling on all fours as of Christmas day. She will go into her army crawl every now and then, but usually it's because she's trying to drag something along the floor with her. She's been ill with a double ear infection and a sinus infection. It seems like the medicine is almost as bad as the illness. She has diarrhea, vomitting and loss of appetite. I really don't feel like the antibiotic is helping. She still has trouble sleeping and she still has the cough/sneeze/runny nose. I called the pediatrician about her vomitting, but they said it's normal and probably just her mucous. Not helpful because she doesn't vomit unless she's had her medicine. Her follow-up is next Monday and she better be healthy by then!
Isabella started gymnastics at the first of the year and apparently she's a natural. I wouldn't know because I've never been to her classes. My FIL takes her every week and he boasts about how amazing she performs. Maybe one day I'll get a glimpse of her in the gym. They're even having a "recital" sort of thing, but it's during the day as well. Oh bother. She loves wearing her sparkly leotards and that's what's truly important. The main focus should be that she loves the outfits. We're not putting her in dance... she already loves "twirly skirts" too much.
That's a good summary of home life. Work life is much more complicated. When it's not worth it anymore, I'm quitting. Whether I have another job or not, I'm quitting. It's getting close to my breaking point. I wish they'd just fire me, but there's no grounds to fire me! I'm too good at my job. What a bummer.
I'd think I was dead if not for the constricting pain in my chest. I find it difficult to take a deep breath. My vision is blurry or perhaps it just seems like everyday is a veiled in a shadowy haze. Once in a while I am able to lift the veil and seize control over my life, but lately those occasions are rare. There is such a fog in my head.
I don't even know where to start. I love Christmas. It's the happiest time of year for me. I love the music, the lights, the decorations, the Santas, the peace-on-earth-and-goodwill-to-man vibes, and all the rest of it. This year will be Reagan's first Christmas. Our tradition is to spend Christmas morning at home. Two years ago, my whole family came over and we will be doing that again this year. Last year, we went to my sister's house for a few hours and celebrated with her family and my parents. My in-laws have never spent a Christmas here. This year they've decided to stay, so I invited them to our home since my family is coming already. They declined and invited us to their home Christmas morning. We are hosting Christmas morning in our home and my in-laws (who are never here for Christmas day) want us to change our plans for them. When I told them we wouldn't be changing our plans to suit them, they told us to just come over later. No! We are hosting Christmas at our house. If you would like to see us, please come. They are more than welcome - we invited them! Don't counter my offer with an offer of your own. You don't like my family? Chris thinks they want to avoid chaos. We have kids. When is there not chaos at our house?
And then there's work. I thought the company was going to close last week and I haven't been able to breathe easy since then. We had a big meeting on Friday and it was as close as you can get to full disclosure, so it should've been reassuring. Unfortunately, I'm still in panic mode. I've never been so busy. I get caught up on one thing and fall behind on three other "top priorities". It's an endless cycle and there's nothing I can do to change it.
Chris left yesterday and will be home the 22nd. I have some Christmas shopping left to do and it should be easy, but that's not the problem. I just don't need one more thing added to my inbox. I'm thankful that my parents and my in-laws are helping by picking up the kids in the afternoon. I really appreciate that. It definitely makes it easier for me since I've been working late. Less guilt about leaving them at the sitter until dark-thirty. I don't think there's that much to be done, but it's overwhelming when I'm already stressed. All I want for Christmas is a calming, relaxing, deep breath.
I found out yesterday that the La Leche League meeting I regularly attend is cancelled this month. We meet once a month to discuss different aspects of breastfeeding (i.e. nutrition, difficulties, weaning). I look forward to these meetings every month because I am alone in my personal breastfeeding adventure.
Let me explain. I have a wonderfully supportive husband who takes me at my word and trusts my judgement when it comes to child-rearing. However, he has been known to "help" me cover myself when I'm nursing. There are times he has a problem with the how, when & where of breastfeeding. I don't expect him to be able to relate. My mother seems to be more interested in the social stigma. Like her daughter is so chic because she breastfeeds and uses a sling, society be damned! Her daughter goes against social norms to ensure the health of her children, isn't it just too Hippy Dippy meets Uptown Glamour? But she wants to give Reagan water because she thinks the baby is "thirsty". You're killing me woman. And she wonders why I waited so long to let anyone keep Bella overnight? Why would I let them keep her when they ignore my parenting style? I know it's not all her... dad holds much of the blame. As far as my sister goes, she & I don't discuss much of anything and she gave up breastfeeding for formula after just a few months. She was a stay-at-home mom and she still gave it up. No real reason.
I inundate my in-laws with so much boob and breastfeeding that I'm sure they're sick of me and my boobs. I know, however, they would never say a negative thing about it. It is not their place. I am a well-informed parent and I do what I think and know are best for my girls. My sister-in-law breastfed for a time when Renzo was first born, but she also supplemented. She pumped at work for a time, but gave it up when it became too difficult. He is now formula fed. At first, I thought I found someone I could relate to, but she preferred pumping and feeding from a bottle. She had her own set of circumstances that led to her decision, but I struggled and I know others who had immense issues and persevered. I don't understand giving up because it's easy. Nothing that's worthwhile is ever easy.
So back to the LLL meeting. As you can see, in my family I don't have a sounding board when it comes to breastfeeding. LLL is only once a month, so I have one night a month for one hour to feel less alone and more normal. It shouldn't be a huge deal to me, but it is! There are so many other things going on right now with work and family - I need this. Work is crazy with my work load piling up infront of me as we fire more people. I'm trying to get use to the idea that I will have to deal with most of the Christmas holiday without my husband who will be on tour with a Christmas show as far away as Michigan & New York. A lot is going on right now and I need something I can count on. I thought LLL was my safe place, but now they're not even there for me. It's upsetting.
